Friday, October 24, 2008

Funny Forward


Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables, by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat, by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose oflaxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal, until you get to know them.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

1 comment:

Jacki said...

I especially like the remembering part. I often wonder who defined what a normal person is?

Nope, you haven't committed suicide by talking about your beliefs. :-) I will still talk to you. ;-)

And I want my blog to be a place people can talk and express themselves and learn without fear of being mocked or ridiculed.