Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Romancing Your Husband

I was out with my girlfriends tonight and we covered every topic imaginable. Romance was a brief topic, but it got me thinking because I used to be the world's greatest romantic, and now I'm not too sure that I am. The feelings are there, but the distractions are great.

Don't get me wrong. My husband is beyond compare. I have not heard of anyone that can hold a candle to him. He is my lover, my confidante, and my best friend. We talk about everything and love to debate stuff. We finish each other's sentences. And we love our date nights.

But I used to leave lipstick messages on his truck windows, fill his pockets with love notes, buy him special gifts. Now I try to have freshly made iced tea at dinner, make phone calls for him, pick up his favorite chips, and leave a candy bar in his pocket. It's good, but just doesn't sound quite as romantic. I think that I could do better. It certainly couldn't hurt to try. I've never heard anyone complain that their spouse is "just too romantic." Besides, my collection of dogeared romantic idea books are a bit dusty.

So girls, buy a new nightgown and a copy of 1001 Ways to Be Romantic , my old favorite. (This is not a Christian book, and I don't recommend it for the marriage advice. But it is a large list of romantic ideas, so you can afford to skip any objectionable ones and still have lots to choose from.) These lists from that book should get your wheels turning:

223a Daily Romantic Checklist:

  1. Compliment your partner.
  2. Spend twenty minutes of uninterrupted time together.
  3. Check in with each other during the day.
  4. Perform one small and unexpected gesture.
  5. Say "I love you" at least three times.
  6. Thank your partner for something.
  7. Look for romantic concepts in the newspaper.
  8. Take an extra minute when kissing good-bye.

223b A Weekly Romantic Checklist:

  1. Bring home one small, unexpected gift or present.
  2. Share some form of physical intimacy.
  3. Share an entire afternoon or evening together.
  4. Share two insights you gained this week.
  5. Write at least one little love note.
  6. Mail something to your partner.
  7. Make love!
  8. Plan something special for the upcoming weekend.

223c A Monthly Romantic Checklist

  1. Plan one romantic surprise for this month.
  2. Re-stock your stash of greeting cards.
  3. Go out to dinner once or twice.
  4. Rent at least two romantic movies.
  5. Make love several times!
  6. Make plans for a three-day romantic weekend sometime in the next three months.
  7. Plan one romantic event with a seasonal theme.

223d A Yearly Romantic Checklist

  1. Make a New Year's resolution to be a more creative romantic.
  2. Make plans for your next anniversary.
  3. Think of an unusual way to celebrate your partner's birthday.
  4. Review your plans for your next vacation.
  5. Create a special "Romance" category in your household budget.
  6. Make plans for Valentine's Day well in advance!


TheNormalMiddle said...

Hey Alicia! :) Long time no comment. Been busy moving! (we finally got our forever home, praise God!)

Anyhow had to speak up on this one because as you might remember from my old blog, this is one of my favorite topics.

The older I get, the longer I've been married, and the more "experienced" I become I have found that romance is for women. The flowers, the candles, the lovey-dovey stuff is for us.

Men, well....they like the physical and visual. So you are dead on when you say buy a new nightgown :)

I've learned in 15 years of being with the same man, he really likes it when I initiate ANYTHING. I don't have to have flowers and candles. He just wants me to be the agressor for once!

Just my .02

Alicia said...

I've been thinking about you a lot, friend. Glad to hear things are going well!

I was trying to decide how blatant to be on some topics, but I think that you're definitely dead on. Good food and good sex are pretty much the basics of happy husbands. Lots of romantic gestures towards husbands will revolve around facilitating the atmospheres of food and sex.

I also believe that there are other aspects of "romance" like encouraging and edifying words that are good to remember. I love this topic, so we'll see where it goes. :^)

Loraena said...

Wow. I have to say, that is a tall list! I am a romantic at heart, but like you, I don't try as hard as I used to! Just doing a fraction of the things on this list would be nice. =)