And she almost succeeded. I have a love/hate relationship with Denise Austin. I really like her perky ways and encouraging words. Usually. But tonight I hopped back on the exercise train by trying a different workout. Shrink Your Female Fat Zones. Well, something better shrink - and fast, because that exercise routine could count as torture.
And she just kept smiling.
"You're looking good." Are you kidding? They could make a best-selling comedy of me trying to get into the right position on this under-inflated stability ball. And why do they call it a stability ball anyway, because it felt far from stable as it kept rolling me sideways while I pretended to do crunches.
"That's my trouble zone too." Can I smack you now? There is no trouble zone on your perfectly sculpted body. The only thing perfectly sculpted on me are my eyebrows.
"Ooo, this stretch is one of my favorites. It feels so good." No, Denise, it hurts like crazy. It is not my favorite, none of them are my favorite, the end of your video (if I had made it that far) would be my favorite.
I'm going on a cruise in just a few weeks, Denise, and this torture had better live up to its name. Because I'll be back for more tomorrow, and if you say, "now give me a smile" one more time, I'm going to stick my tongue out.