All you have is now

“You think you will never forget any of this, you will remember it always just the way it was. But you can't remember it the way it was. To know it, you have to be living in the presence of it right as it is happening. It can return only by surprise. Speaking of these things tells you that there are no words for them that are equal to them or that can restore them to your mind. And so you have a life that you are living only now, now and now and now, gone before you can speak of it, and you must be thankful for living day by day, moment by moment, in this presence.
But you have a life too that you remember. It stays with you. YOu have lived a life in the breath and pulse and living light of the present, and your memories of it, remember now, are of a different life in a different world and time. When you remember the past, you are not remembering it as it was. You are remembering it as it is. It is a vision or a dream, present with you in the present, alive with you in the only time you are alive.”

― Wendell Berry, Hannah Coulter

Now with Bella's big hugs and her tiny frame clinging to me, and her read just one more book pleas.  Now with Rose's tumultuous trying-to find-her place and just be loved while not being pushed around.  With her endless twirling dancing and leaping.  Now with Anna turning young woman with her helping hands and graciousness interspersed with her crazy giddy silly-girlness.  Now with Ethan's beautiful boy soprano voice singing in tones whose days are numbered.  With his mature, thoughtful interactions and boyish fights with his sisters.  Now with Brian trying so hard to be everything he wants and needs to be with this ugly disease frustrating him at every turn.  Now with the Sadie-dog curled up at my feet and more than a tad stinky.  Now is all we have.  I am not guaranteed tomorrow for myself.  And I'm not guaranteed to have these dear ones for one more day.  I have to learn to live fully now.

Gardening With Children

Spring is coming, and you're ready to plant a garden with your children. Children are natural gardeners. They anticipate every new shoot. They take pleasure in sowing seeds, and keeping them watered. The key is to continue to reward their initial enthusiasm with their own equipment and spaces, quick results, and fun additions.

The anticipation will begin long before the garden soil is turned. Read gardening books together, look at seed catalogs, make an early trip to the garden center, and talk about the type of garden you would like to have and what you will plant. Let your child choose some seeds and, if you've planned ahead, begin some seeds indoors.

Before you get started on your garden, purchase some simple equipment suited to your child. A set of child-sized hand tools, gardening boots or clogs, and pint-sized watering can will engage them as workers and contributors to the family garden. Throw in some safe, natural bug repellent and sunscreen and you will avoid a less than satisfactory beginning.

Now start by creating spaces just for your child. This could be their own small plot, but it could also be a special structure within your larger garden. Consider planting a bean tepee, sunflower house, or fairy garden. Set aside a small area for them to plant a pizza garden. Let them choose native host plants for a butterfly garden. Your little ones will be happily occupied in their own space, while you care for your own.

Quick results keep children engaged. While they may not enjoy eating radishes, they will be delighted at how quickly they can harvest their first crop. If you haven't started seeds indoors, be sure to allow children to choose some seedlings at the garden center. Not only will the trip to choose delight them, the quicker returns will also foster a sense of accomplishment that will, in turn, foster a positive attitude about gardening.

Add fun, child-friendly features to your garden. Create a toad house from an old pot. Collect unique garden decorations. Paint stones together to mark vegetable rows or line the edge of the garden. Add some stump stools, a picnic table, or a small bench. Or, best of all, choose a water feature, such as a bubbler, water wall, or small fish pond. All of these choices will encourage imaginative play and result in more happy hours in the garden.

Container gardening is very child-friendly. Allow them to help you plant hanging planters full of flowers for the front porch and upside-down tomato planters for the deck. Fill a large container with seed potatoes for a great surprise when you dump them at harvest. Start a container herb garden. Plant a window box of carrots if the weather is still cool. Fill a strawberry pot. Containers are such a versatile option for families with limited yard space for a garden.

However you choose to garden, multiply your enjoyment by sharing it with your child. Take the time to do the planning and the work together, and the pleasure of watching things grow, and spending time with you, will set a precedent for them to enjoy a lifetime of gardening.

Pretend Play

I love facilitating my kids play. One of my favorite parts of being a mom.

Today it's a road trip in Brian's dead car. Ethan is the dad and father, Anna, the mother. I let Ethan take my real cell phone out, they have the car loaded with babies and blankets and pillows, and I'm getting ready to refill some kids QT cups with kool-aid. Think I might print some car games too.  Then Ethan's going to call ahead to "Chick-Fil_A" to see if the drive-thru is ready with the chicken nuggets and waffle fries that I was lucky enough to have in my freezer.

Thursdays are becoming sheet day, when the sheets get changed, they are made into tent structures before being deposited in the laundry.

Impromptu parties, picnics, and explorations beckon.

Sensory materials like sand, artificial snow, and play-doh are eager to come alive and become a fantasy realm.

So why not jump in and help your children create their imaginations today?  You might have as much fun as they do.

Beginning Lent

Today was Ash Wednesday.  So we did a little fasting, and spent the time with our journals.  We wrote our sins on slips of paper.  You know, the big ones that we struggle with every day, as well as some of the things that crop up throughout the day.  We put them in the repentance box.  We'll add to it as we're convicted.  Perhaps having to add to the box will cause some pausing before unkindness and selfishness are displayed.  Maybe we'll remember the price for those sins. On Good Friday, we'll burn them, and the cost of our redemption will be visible and grace will look extravagant.

But today we began this journey of small changes and more contemplation.  The season that gives us a chance to change to be more like Jesus.  Not that we don't have it every day, but this is a season to intentionally bring things back into balance.  To slow down.  To pray more.

We wrote three columns in our journals.  Pray - Fast - Give.  We wrote down things to pray for in our time that we have freed up by fasting from food or excesses or distractions.  We wrote down what we intend to give up, as well as the more profitable thing with which we plan to replace it.  New habits.  We tried to think of ways to share what God has given us.

Then we laughed.  Because Rose is crazy.  And she decided to give up being crazy for Lent.  I told her how I didn't see how that would work.  But she made her eyes big and wild, and rattled her head around with a great noise, and said that that was the kind of crazy she was giving up.  The extreme crazy things that she does from time to time.  And after that demonstration, we agreed that, perhaps, it was a very good idea after all.  Then I asked what she thought we could give, and she said, "food to the poor!"  I told her that she needed to be more specific.  So she reminded me of the homeless man that often hangs out near a local Walmart and told me that we need to get him some Little Ceasars.  She'd apparently remembered from years ago, when we had nothing else to offer and had gotten him something there.

So today Rose is giving up being crazy for Lent.  And she intends to give "pizza to the poor!"  We'll see how it goes.

Our special place

We found Shelter 6 when we couldn't get Shelter 3 for Bella's birthday.  I thought it was kind of sad.  I had planned a Dora the Explorer birthday.  The cupcakes were the right colors and the decorations were in theme.  But the scavenger hunt and activities were not needed and left undone.  Because, it turned out that Shelter 6 is right beside a wide, shallow creek.  We didn't know it was there.  And there's an open grassy area, and a rest room, and a drinking fountain.  And even a cool hollow with large tree roots and hanging vines - a natural fort.  In short, everything children need to be perfectly happy.

Later, we discovered that the trail just across from the shelter was an easy walk to another lovely part of the creek with stairs for access, and just up from that, an old waterworks that looks like a castle, with a waterfall dam, and above that a pristine mountain lake.  Our new favorite walk.

We met friends there.  We take hot dogs in the crockpot.  We make fires in the shelter fireplace and make smores.  We bring hot tea and cocoa.

Last night, we decided to try a rainy day at the shelter.  I even thought maybe we'd try Shelter 3 again to shake it up a little.  But Shelter 6 is our shelter now.  The children insisted on it.  The floors of the shelters were all wet.  I hadn't expected that.  And we hadn't managed to set aside wood in a dry place, so there was no fire, but it was a mild day.  So we brought bags of freshly popped microwave popcorn and a thermos of hot green tea.  We talked and the children played Pokemon cards at the table and even tested out the creek (yes, it was my idea, but they only got their feet wet ;) .  And we breathed in fresh woodsy air.  Then we finished off with a couple of rounds of Crazy Eights.  It was a lovely way to spend an hour and a half just before dark on a wet day.  

We can't wait to do it again.

RESPECT

Our word for the year.  A year in which I hope to regain some better discipline for myself and my family.  A year in which we remember how to speak with kindness and treat others the way we would like to be treated.  A year in which we again renew our efforts to teach our kids as much Scripture and as much about Jesus as they can hold.  And then find ways to reach out to those around us.

Bella's 3 year old pics

Just a few months late, haha.

Apple surprises

 Anna left me this sweet note and decorated apple.

Not to be outdone, Rose created this treat with an

over-the-top mixture of honey and brown sugar

that was really quite good.

"September" by Edwina Fallis

A road like brown ribbon
A sky that is blue
A forest of green
With that sky peeping through.
Asters, deep purple,
A grasshopper's call,
Today it is summer,
Tomorrow is fall.

It happened this summer

June 5 -
"Lollipop" by the Chordettes is Bella's new favorite song. So it's no wonder she was drawing lollipops of all sizes on her drawing board today. Now to teach her more than two words of the lyrics...

June 12 -   
Bella: I crazy
Me: That's because you're mine.
Bella: Mommy crazy, Bella crazy. (Then, she fumbles with her fingers before holding them up properly.) TWO CRAZIES.

June 15-
 Beautiful day to be outdoors. Worked in the vegetable garden and picked two beautiful bright yellow squash. Ethan enjoyed cutting the grass and the girlies have been out all day. Kabobs for lunch kept there from being a break in play. :)

Bella's singing the beginning of the My Little Pony theme song, but the ahhh part is the line from Coldplay's "Paradise" - hilarious!

June 17 - 
After a superhero themed grill out on one of the first truly hot days of this mild summer (naturally), Brian, Ryan, and Dad went head to head in the First Annual Father's Day Mento Geyser Wars.  I think Brian's geyser won, but Ryan's performance was most America's Funniest worthy.

 So there's some kind of bird right outside our house that sings all night long. Loudly. The first night or two I thought it was kind of cute and interesting. Now I'm just starting to think it's psychotic.

June 22 - 
Fairy Rose had a lovely time at Fairy Garden camp

June 25 - 
Psycho Bird is at it again!

June 27 of the summer of extremes - 
Today is still at a beautiful 77, but the forecast for the next five days is 100, 108!!, 100, 104!, 104! - then it cools down to the nineties. That, my friends, is crazy. 

June 28-
Ethan has set up a spa. He charges 30 cents for a lotioned foot massage and an additional 20 cents for a pedicure. He's almost done with his second customer.

July 1 - 
Rosie won free birthday cupcakes on a Facebook contest.  I have the best friends.

via Brian ~ It appears that the alternator belt just broke on the van. Thankfully, Alicia was at church,so she has a cool place to wait for the tow truck. [Yeah, and the car broke down right after he lost his job and is still waiting to be fixed, but God was gracious, a church friend came and brought the part and worked on it, the out neighbor mechanic fixed it the next morning all at no charge.]

July 7 - 
Rose: I used to think heaven was like you can just ask and have a piece of cake or a cup of water or a cup of milk and someone would bring it to you. As often as you want. And you would never get fat!

July 9-
Iced coffee + donuts + grapes = a breakfast picnic at the lake!

My little sister Rachel's profound observation today - "Generally people are happy when they're eating steak."

July 11 - 
 I just wrote Happy 7th Birthday in the artificial snow on the door. Seven. How can that be? The way the years fly past us. It takes a mama's breath away.

Turn from old ways, lift your eyes
For the kingdom of God is here
(Hillsong, "The One Who Saves")

July 15-
 Brian asked Bella, "Who is the bomb diggity?" Bella replied, "I'm Green Lantern, I AM the bomb diggity!"

July 18-
Brian's grandma finally moved into her newly built apartment at Brian's parents' house today. 

July 19- 15 years married to my love.
 The girl who went to Men in Black on her honeymoon and Armageddon on her first anniversary, finally got to see a strictly romantic movie on her anniversary. Finally saw The Lost Valentine. Loved it.

July 21 - 
 Cleaned up the most epic throw up in my career as a mother. It covered half the bathroom, and took a whole roll of good paper towels to eradicate, in addition to the towel and bath mat that I just threw out. Crowned this eventful night by drink my coffee black for the first time. It really wasn't so bad, and Rachel and I are going to be thinner by Christmas or kill each other trying.

July 25-
 Brian's working and listening to elevator music. On purpose. He actually said, "What? Don't you like this song?" And I told him that if it was playing in an elevator, I would get off on the wrong floor.

July 28-
  We read the book, "What Do Babies Need?" So before we began, I asked Bella. She didn't hesitate. "Chocolate milk."


July 29-
Walking in the sun today, Bella commented, "It's a hot day." I smiled and agreed, and she continued, "Hot days make my hair wet." She paused, "and cold days make my hair dry." :)

August 1 - 
 Sign left on Ethan's door tonight:

Do not disturb I'm sleeping (consiquences bellow)
1.dropped from the killer canyon
2.drowned in beta lagoon
3.strung over Violent Volcano

August 7- 
Anna -
"You may kiss the bride." That's just not fair. The groom's allowed to kiss the bride, but the bride's not allowed to kiss the groom. When I get married, I'm not doing it like that. They're going to say, "You may kiss each other."

Every time we get out of the van, Bella has to run to her garden to "check her oh-ma-toes."  She eats every red one.  If there's more than five or so, she might share one. :)

from Brian ~ This morning at family worship, when we read the words, "And you shall be my people, and I will be your God," Bella (3) exclaimed, "Ah! [her word for yes] I will hug him! I will be happy!"

August 10-
 Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

 My poor little orange garden spider has no luck. Every night she builds a beautiful web outside my front door. And every night someone walks through it or, like tonight, a storm washes it away. She even got smart this time and built it beside rather than over the steps and slightly under the edge of the porch where I was sitting watching the storm. But the wind got so strong that it started blowing the web back and forth (almost into my face!), and about the time I moved to Brian's lap, then started getting soaked and running back inside, another web had bitten the dust.

August 12 - 
13 meteors in a little over an hour - 4 were absolutely epic!! 

Watched these with my sweet Anna girl, the only one I could wake up. :)  It was on her bucket list after all.  I saw three in about 30 seconds and came running in to get them, but we waited a good ten minutes to see the next one. But once we saw a really big bright fireball with a long trail, we were pretty hooked. We screamed after every big meteor then giggled because we were probably waking the neighbors in the middle of the night.  The ground was so wet we had to sit in chairs and got the worst crink in our necks.  And as we would slowly head closer to the door to come back in, we'd see another good one and watch a while longer. :) So grateful for that hour and a half break in the cloud cover.  What a wonderful night!'

August 15 - 
from Brian ~ Bella came outside while I was praying this morning. She must have heard me ask the Lord to bless me, because she walked over and placed her hand on my head.

August 18-
from Brian ~ Tonight as I put Bella to bed, she said, "I bless you, daddy!" She put her hand on my head as I placed mine on hers and repeated the words with me.

August 19 - 
 Bella picked so many of her grape tomatoes yesterday that I had to save leftovers in the frig. I warned her that they would be could and she cringed through eating the first one, then said, "My ohmato freaked me out."

There are so many mosquitos around our house right now that I'm sitting INSIDE being eaten just from people going in and out during the day!

Jesus is in me and Bella is in Jesus.... And Bella grow up, be like Jesus. And Rosie grow and be like Jesus, and Anna grow and be like Jesus, and Ethan grow, be like Jesus, and Mommy grow and be like Jesus, and Daddy grow and be like Jesus...And everyone will say, they be like Jesus! ~ Bella, age 3

August 20- First Day of School
Bella, while hanging around Brian's neck - "I will love you, and kiss you, and call you George."

August 21 - 
my sweet husband's facebook status:  This is for all the homeschool moms getting ready for a new school year this week. You're the moms that are up all night -- not because you are worried where your children are or what they are doing. Your children are all safely tucked in bed. You're up all night turning your home into an atmosphere of education. You're up all night making sure everything is just right - the curriculum, the field trips, the games, etc. You will have the fruit of your hands. Your works will praise you in the gates.